禁止對(duì)愛(ài)人說(shuō)的話
對(duì)你的愛(ài)人，不要說(shuō)可能會(huì)傷害你們感情的話。這點(diǎn)的重要性絲毫不亞于對(duì)TA的甜言蜜語(yǔ)。只要一句說(shuō)錯(cuò)的話，就可以使一天表現(xiàn)良好的言行付之東流。那些消極而傷人的話會(huì)重創(chuàng)你們的感情。
Here are those five things you should NEVER say to your spouse:
以下是對(duì)你的愛(ài)人堅(jiān)決不能說(shuō)的五句話：
1. It's your fault! Sometimes, a financial decision goes bad, one of your children gets in trouble at school, or some household calamity occurs. And know this - things do go bad from time to time in any relationship. Decisions turn out wrong. Stuff happens! But the blame game never works! It alienates. It divides. It most certainly undermines trust and opennein your relationship.
1.那是你的錯(cuò)!有時(shí)，會(huì)做出錯(cuò)誤的經(jīng)濟(jì)開支決定，你的哪個(gè)孩子在學(xué)校闖禍了，或者出了一些家庭災(zāi)難。你需要知道，這些事情在任何家庭中都屢次發(fā)生。做出錯(cuò)誤的決定，自然就發(fā)生了這樣的事。但是，“責(zé)備”絲毫不會(huì)奏效。它只會(huì)疏遠(yuǎn)和離間你們，而且毫無(wú)疑問(wèn)地會(huì)傷害到你們之間的信任和坦誠(chéng)。
2. I told you so! Trust us on this - these four words are rarely ever used in successful marriages. This kind of "comeuppance" has no place in a loving relationship. There is no need to remind your spouse that you were right about something and they were wrong. Talk about wasted criticism!
2.我早告訴過(guò)你!相信我，在成功的婚姻里幾乎不會(huì)出現(xiàn)這幾個(gè)字。在愛(ài)情中不應(yīng)有這種類似于“幸災(zāi)樂(lè)禍”的責(zé)難。你完全沒(méi)有必要去提醒你的愛(ài)人，關(guān)于一些事你是對(duì)的而TA是錯(cuò)的。那些批評(píng)沒(méi)有任何意義。
3. Saying "I am upset with you about this or that . . . ." in a public setting. Telling private secrets or criticizing your spouse in public or to someone else can do permanent damage to the trust in your relationship. True or not - it doesn't matter. Keep private things private.
3.在公共場(chǎng)合就說(shuō)：“我真受不你這樣或那樣”。在別人面前揭你愛(ài)人的短或批評(píng)，將會(huì)對(duì)你們感情中的信任造成永久性的傷害。對(duì)錯(cuò)并不重要。家里的事家里解決。
4. Why do you always . . . Focusing on your spouse's weaknerather than building on their strengths will only increase their weakneand diminish their strength. This habit can send a relationship into a downward spiral if weaknesses are pointed out and commented upon. Succedoes breed success. Stick with the strengths and don't focus on weakness.
4.你怎么老是。。。?總盯著你愛(ài)人的缺點(diǎn)，而不是放大TA的優(yōu)點(diǎn)，只會(huì)讓TA的'優(yōu)點(diǎn)更少缺點(diǎn)更多。指出并批評(píng)愛(ài)人的缺點(diǎn)，這一毛病會(huì)讓你們的感情每況愈下。成功孕育成功。多注意對(duì)方的優(yōu)點(diǎn)，不要總盯著缺點(diǎn)。
5. Ask for your spouse's opinion and then do the opposite. We have heard from many angry divorced or almost divorced couples that this is the greatest indicator of "disrespect." If you ask where your spouse wants to go to dinner and he/she suggests a couple of places, then you select a different one, by your actions you said, "I do not respect your opinion and don't care what you think!"
5.問(wèn)過(guò)你愛(ài)人的意見(jiàn)卻反其道而行。從很多憤怒的離婚的或即要離婚的人們口中，我們都有所耳聞，這是最大的“不尊重”。如果你問(wèn)你的愛(ài)人想去哪兒吃晚飯，她說(shuō)了幾個(gè)地方，而你卻挑了一個(gè)別的。你是在用行動(dòng)告訴好：“我不尊重你的意見(jiàn)，也不在乎你怎么想。”
Since saying negative or hurtful things can be damaging to a loving relationship, it is wise to take extra caution before engaging your mouth when these negative thoughts come into your mind。
既然這些消極而傷人的事情會(huì)傷害到你們的感情，所以，在那些消極的想法涌入腦海時(shí)，下意識(shí)地慎從口從不失為一個(gè)明智之舉。
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